“The Bus” Stopped in Topeka: Along with Nate Phelps
"The Bus" played Off-Broadway (59E59 Theaters) in New York City for pretty much the month of October. An amazing story, cast, and crew bring to life a small town, a big church, and a bus – which serves as a rendezvous point for two gay teenagers. Nate Phelps is the estranged son of Fred Phelps (Westboro Baptist Church) who is now committed to raising awareness and bringing about change for members of the Lesbian, Gay, Bi, and Transgender (LGBT) community.
I have never been more moved by any experience in my life than to be a tiny part of the phenomenal presence of "The Bus", in our town. Topeka has shifted a bit more away from bigotry, and a bit closer to equality. The hearts and minds of those who were fortunate enough to be a part of this experience will be forever changed.
That Nate Phelps was here in Topeka, with us, made the experience perfect. For me, there is a great connection with Nate. We are both working to create a different world, me in my own little way, and Nate with his larger than life love for humanity. "The Bus" was just the perfect vehicle that put us in the same place, on the same two days, in Topeka.
In the play, there is a piece shared by "the little girl" (Julia Lawler) where she is speaking as the pastor of the Golden Rule Bible Fellowship, "Mr. Harry Deforge, what do we have up here that’s so threatening to you? Is it our new sanctuary? Our smiling faces? Our fellowship? Or is it simply because we shine?"
Shine is not the word I would first attribute to Westboro Baptist Church. Nor is it the word that I chose to attribute to Golden Rule. There is no explicit message about how the church feels about people who are LGBT. Each audience member is left to discern this and many other things own their own.
This viewer had little trouble imagining that the pastor and members of Golden Rule would have seen the LGBT community as not acceptable in the eyes of God. Accordingly, this viewer also had to reflect upon her own prejudices and exactly why she made this assumption, as well as many others in the course of the play.
This is an amazing part of the magic of this play. Every member of the audience will experience it quite differently. And if brave enough, examine ourselves in the mirror the play so capably places in front of everyone who is blessed enough to see it.
The play is not about Westboro Baptist Church. However, Jim Lantz (playwright and producer) expressed a desire to present the play as closely as possible to WBC, and thus, "The Bus" stopped in Topeka.
For me, as the chair of the Topeka chapter of Kansas Equality Coalition, I have come to know that Westboro Baptist is not the problem with Topeka. WBC is but the most visible symptom of a cancer that carves daily into the heart of our community.
Fred Phelps and Westboro Baptist have the courage to speak openly of their hatred for gays and lesbians. Hiding behind them, are the thousands of Topeka citizens who willfully discriminate against LGBT people, and claim righteousness in that "fact" that they are "not like" WBC.
These thousands of people are not the majority. Most Topeka citizens are in favor of LGBT equality. Unfortunately, most of them don’t vote.
To the teenager who has just been rejected by their parents for being gay, it matters little who is a bad as whom. It matters only that the people who are supposed to be there for them unconditionally, have failed to do so.
Does the hangman's noose swing differently based on who said what, or who did what? People die. Unable to continue down a path they see as impossible. At the hands of people who believe they are empowered by God to destroy another human being.
There is great value in having people who are willing to stand up for justice. Stand up to hate like Westboro Baptist Church spews into the air. I love that people are proud enough of our country to stand up to the hate and display American flags. I believe that they inspire others to stand up as well.
But true change comes from people who are willing to stand up before our elected leaders and share the horrors of discrimination. True change comes from allowing everyone to see our humanity.
It was truly an honor to meet Nate Phelps. Here is a man more courageous than I can imagine and stronger than anyone I know. He is willing to pick up the task that has been laid at his feet as an agent of change. I will always remember one thing Nate shared. The reason I will always remember is that I know it to be true. You must reach people in their hearts first, and then their minds. This is the exact description of the gift left by the play.
"The Bus" stopped in Topeka. Ian and Jordan, Harry and Sarah, and Sloat will always live here. The little girl has become a part of me, and the woman I strive to become. I will remember them all, the characters that they brought to life, and the people I have been privileged enough to get to know a bit.
Yes, "The Bus" stopped in Topeka. I will remember them the day we stand in front of the Topeka City Council, and achieve the end of legalized discrimination against our LGBT citizens. I will remember them indeed. www.thebustheplay.com.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Fear and Courage in Brownback's Kansas
Let me begin by saying that you have already taken everything from me. I have nothing left to lose. I once said, "Fear becomes only a shadow in the light of nothing left to lose." I can say that, because I have lived there.
When the mighty governor of the state of Kansas flexes his muscles against an 18-year-old high school student, you have seen the ultimate act of bullying.
I was recently speaking with two intelligent and well-spoken Topeka area students about the policies Kansas Equality Coalition of Topeka was instrumental in passing. The Topeka 501 School Board added protections for LGBT students and staff. I was informed by these students, in no uncertain terms, that the new policies won't help because nobody stands up to bullying.
In the light of that conversation, I see no alternative than to stand up to Brownback's bullying of the student who tweeted, "Brownback sucks." And his bullying of the residents of Kansas Neurological Institute. And his bullying of women. And his bullying of the poor. And his bullying of LGBT Kansans.
There are only two pathways here. The first is to stand up to oppression. The second is to live in oppression.
The first time I told my story, in the safe confines of a high school Gay Straight Alliance, a transgender student came up to me, and hugged me, and said that I had changed her life. But what also happened was that she had changed my life.
It was in this moment that I could see what it really means to lose everything. And what it really means to have nothing to lose. And what I began to understand, was that the freedom of the spirit is the most precious of all possible possessions.
I have spoken publicly about my journey far more than a hundred times. Dozens of times, someone has shared with me that their life has been changed. I will never again be the same.
I have spoken in front of state legislators and city councils and school boards. In front of Baptist ministers and at national conferences. With strangers in parking lots across the state of Kansas. Is it courage? No, it's not courage. It's just not fear.
So, if the adult people in the LGBT community believe that I am doing what I do for them, it is not so. Neither do I do it for me. I do it for the young people. That they might not find the same world I found. Face the same desperate future I faced.
And so it is, that I still have nothing to lose. Not because I have nothing. I have more than I knew it was possible to have. Because what I have, can not be taken away.
When the mighty governor of the state of Kansas flexes his muscles against an 18-year-old high school student, you have seen the ultimate act of bullying.
I was recently speaking with two intelligent and well-spoken Topeka area students about the policies Kansas Equality Coalition of Topeka was instrumental in passing. The Topeka 501 School Board added protections for LGBT students and staff. I was informed by these students, in no uncertain terms, that the new policies won't help because nobody stands up to bullying.
In the light of that conversation, I see no alternative than to stand up to Brownback's bullying of the student who tweeted, "Brownback sucks." And his bullying of the residents of Kansas Neurological Institute. And his bullying of women. And his bullying of the poor. And his bullying of LGBT Kansans.
There are only two pathways here. The first is to stand up to oppression. The second is to live in oppression.
The first time I told my story, in the safe confines of a high school Gay Straight Alliance, a transgender student came up to me, and hugged me, and said that I had changed her life. But what also happened was that she had changed my life.
It was in this moment that I could see what it really means to lose everything. And what it really means to have nothing to lose. And what I began to understand, was that the freedom of the spirit is the most precious of all possible possessions.
I have spoken publicly about my journey far more than a hundred times. Dozens of times, someone has shared with me that their life has been changed. I will never again be the same.
I have spoken in front of state legislators and city councils and school boards. In front of Baptist ministers and at national conferences. With strangers in parking lots across the state of Kansas. Is it courage? No, it's not courage. It's just not fear.
So, if the adult people in the LGBT community believe that I am doing what I do for them, it is not so. Neither do I do it for me. I do it for the young people. That they might not find the same world I found. Face the same desperate future I faced.
And so it is, that I still have nothing to lose. Not because I have nothing. I have more than I knew it was possible to have. Because what I have, can not be taken away.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Turning Circles
Turning Circles
In the beginning, I knew. I was born female. I was born into a male body. I don’t remember coming to this conclusion. I just knew. Things being what they were at the time, it never occurred to me that my situation was not truly mine, but a gift from a society that did not know, and did not want to know. Sadly, things are still not that much different.
In that “truth”, I tried to play by the “rules”, and the “roles”. Every moment of my conscious existence was an exercise in futility. A battle between who I was, and who I thought I needed to be. At times, the battle lines seemed to be drawn between me, and the God who created me.
For 48 years, I struggled. The woman on the inside of me lay dormant, like a seed awaiting the springtime. Unable to grow in the absence of light. And the woman on the inside of me fought for her very life. Forced into the shadows. Desperately yearning for the light. The ever increasing torment leading to a new truth: Death would come, and the pain would finally end.
When things became so bad that I just couldn’t take it anymore, I decided to pursue the woman of my soul. Enter the light. By the grace of God, through the love of many, in the moment that waited a lifetime, I was born. “God, bless your daughter, for the faith she has shown in you.” These are the words I heard in the moment of my birth, as Stephanie took communion for the very first time.
In the last three years, Stephanie has experienced life. She is no longer bound by the leashes of society. The tethers are cut by the need for the human soul to reach into the realm of truth, and the subsequent inability to ever return to a world of delusion and denial.
The truth. God’s truth. I am a woman. I did not become a woman. I have always been a woman. I stopped pretending to be a man. When I stopped pretending to be someone else, I began to discover the woman who was always there.
Today, my soul reaches into the unknown with the innocence of a child, and the faith that comes from having seen the difference between fighting God, and surrendering to God. There is no tomorrow. Only today. And in this day, if I breathe the air of womanhood, and I walk in the light, I live in my soul. See it shine.
I have been blessed with a gift. The same precious gift that most 3-year old girls have. It is mine. And I will keep it to myself until I find the one with whom I will share all of me.
In the meantime, I stand in the living room turning circles, twirling around like a little girl. For in my soul, this is who I am. After all, I have only been alive for a precious three years.
In the beginning, I knew. I was born female. I was born into a male body. I don’t remember coming to this conclusion. I just knew. Things being what they were at the time, it never occurred to me that my situation was not truly mine, but a gift from a society that did not know, and did not want to know. Sadly, things are still not that much different.
In that “truth”, I tried to play by the “rules”, and the “roles”. Every moment of my conscious existence was an exercise in futility. A battle between who I was, and who I thought I needed to be. At times, the battle lines seemed to be drawn between me, and the God who created me.
For 48 years, I struggled. The woman on the inside of me lay dormant, like a seed awaiting the springtime. Unable to grow in the absence of light. And the woman on the inside of me fought for her very life. Forced into the shadows. Desperately yearning for the light. The ever increasing torment leading to a new truth: Death would come, and the pain would finally end.
When things became so bad that I just couldn’t take it anymore, I decided to pursue the woman of my soul. Enter the light. By the grace of God, through the love of many, in the moment that waited a lifetime, I was born. “God, bless your daughter, for the faith she has shown in you.” These are the words I heard in the moment of my birth, as Stephanie took communion for the very first time.
In the last three years, Stephanie has experienced life. She is no longer bound by the leashes of society. The tethers are cut by the need for the human soul to reach into the realm of truth, and the subsequent inability to ever return to a world of delusion and denial.
The truth. God’s truth. I am a woman. I did not become a woman. I have always been a woman. I stopped pretending to be a man. When I stopped pretending to be someone else, I began to discover the woman who was always there.
Today, my soul reaches into the unknown with the innocence of a child, and the faith that comes from having seen the difference between fighting God, and surrendering to God. There is no tomorrow. Only today. And in this day, if I breathe the air of womanhood, and I walk in the light, I live in my soul. See it shine.
I have been blessed with a gift. The same precious gift that most 3-year old girls have. It is mine. And I will keep it to myself until I find the one with whom I will share all of me.
In the meantime, I stand in the living room turning circles, twirling around like a little girl. For in my soul, this is who I am. After all, I have only been alive for a precious three years.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
The Godless Religious Right
The people who throw around hate in the name of God, do not know God. They do not represent God. They do not pray to God. What they are really praying to, is their own twisted mentality.
They pray for destruction of God's own creation. They might as well be praying for the destruction of all the world. For the destruction of God.
The notion that lesbian, gay, bi, and transgender people are not of God, is insulting to God. The religious right has placed hate where they claim God to be. Indeed, they have become godless in their pursuit of discrimination and judgement. Setting themselves up as the gatekeepers of Heaven. Telling God's own children that there is no place for them in God's love.
It is not God who fails us. It is people who assume the place of God who viscously attack us. Sin, I have heard it said, is putting anything between yourself and God. Perhaps a more egregious sin, is putting anything between God and someone else.
Yet, I must remember, it is not my place to judge them. On the other hand, I am not asking for their civil rights to be taken away. I am not claiming they will burn in hell. I am not saying that God doesn't love them.
I am asking them to stop pushing our LGBT children away from God. To stop pushing our LGBT children into suicide.
The religious right is godless. There is no other explanation. The time is come for the truth to be told.
They pray for destruction of God's own creation. They might as well be praying for the destruction of all the world. For the destruction of God.
The notion that lesbian, gay, bi, and transgender people are not of God, is insulting to God. The religious right has placed hate where they claim God to be. Indeed, they have become godless in their pursuit of discrimination and judgement. Setting themselves up as the gatekeepers of Heaven. Telling God's own children that there is no place for them in God's love.
It is not God who fails us. It is people who assume the place of God who viscously attack us. Sin, I have heard it said, is putting anything between yourself and God. Perhaps a more egregious sin, is putting anything between God and someone else.
Yet, I must remember, it is not my place to judge them. On the other hand, I am not asking for their civil rights to be taken away. I am not claiming they will burn in hell. I am not saying that God doesn't love them.
I am asking them to stop pushing our LGBT children away from God. To stop pushing our LGBT children into suicide.
The religious right is godless. There is no other explanation. The time is come for the truth to be told.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
If I Won the Lottery
If I won the lottery, what would I do?
Would I buy a house? Yes, a big one.
Would I buy a car? Yes, a minivan or a small bus.
Would I buy new clothes? Yes, lots of them.
What would you do if you won the lottery? Would you spend money on houses, and cars, and clothes?
I would. But there is a little bit more to it than that.
I suppose I should begin at the beginning. After I found Metropolitan Community Church of Topeka, and thereby found myself, I also found that there were a lot of transgender people who need more help than I can provide. But I decided that maybe I could help some by being open about who I am, and trying to educate people about transgender issues.
Then, one day, this amazing lady, named Joyce Jenkins, came into my life. She was the new girlfriend of another amazing lady, Annette Billings. I was there when Joyce and Annette were married, and when Joyce died, far too soon after their blessed day. Joyce came to see me talk in the Topeka/Shawnee County Public library about my book, "My Long Walk Home - A Transexual Journey". She did that four days before she died. That's just the kind of thing that Joyce Jenkins did.
When Joyce and I met, we talked about the work I was doing to try to facilitate change for transgender people. She talked about the work she had done with the City of New York, helping people find solutions. Among the people she helped were the homeless transgender people of New York. She spoke with passion about the need for a place for them to go because the homeless shelters could not or would not properly accommodate them.
So if I win the lottery, I will buy a house. I will buy a bus or a minivan. I will buy clothes and lots of other stuff. I will put all this stuff, I will park my minivan, at the Joyce L. Jenkins Home for Transgender People (if Annette doesn't mind me using Joyce's name).
There are a lot of other things that the money could do as well. Scholarships for surgery. More extensive transgender education. Legal fees, the costs of therapy, name changes, and more.
If I win the lottery, I will buy a house. Maybe two.
Would I buy a house? Yes, a big one.
Would I buy a car? Yes, a minivan or a small bus.
Would I buy new clothes? Yes, lots of them.
What would you do if you won the lottery? Would you spend money on houses, and cars, and clothes?
I would. But there is a little bit more to it than that.
I suppose I should begin at the beginning. After I found Metropolitan Community Church of Topeka, and thereby found myself, I also found that there were a lot of transgender people who need more help than I can provide. But I decided that maybe I could help some by being open about who I am, and trying to educate people about transgender issues.
Then, one day, this amazing lady, named Joyce Jenkins, came into my life. She was the new girlfriend of another amazing lady, Annette Billings. I was there when Joyce and Annette were married, and when Joyce died, far too soon after their blessed day. Joyce came to see me talk in the Topeka/Shawnee County Public library about my book, "My Long Walk Home - A Transexual Journey". She did that four days before she died. That's just the kind of thing that Joyce Jenkins did.
When Joyce and I met, we talked about the work I was doing to try to facilitate change for transgender people. She talked about the work she had done with the City of New York, helping people find solutions. Among the people she helped were the homeless transgender people of New York. She spoke with passion about the need for a place for them to go because the homeless shelters could not or would not properly accommodate them.
So if I win the lottery, I will buy a house. I will buy a bus or a minivan. I will buy clothes and lots of other stuff. I will put all this stuff, I will park my minivan, at the Joyce L. Jenkins Home for Transgender People (if Annette doesn't mind me using Joyce's name).
There are a lot of other things that the money could do as well. Scholarships for surgery. More extensive transgender education. Legal fees, the costs of therapy, name changes, and more.
If I win the lottery, I will buy a house. Maybe two.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
My Road to Feminism
Note: This blog is only my opinion, and is not intended to limit or devalue anyone's right to their own beliefs.
It never crossed my mind as I entered into physical transition, that my views would become so changed. Many of my core beliefs have been cast aside and replaced with completely new ones. In no arena is that more true than in my understanding of how our world is set up to sustain male dominance.
From advertising to the Bible, and from birth, we are programmed to believe this is the natural order of things. It is the ultimate brainwash. It is no more true than the idea that the sun rises in the west.
Let me be clear. I don't think all men believe they are superior to women. I don't even think that a lot of men believe that. I think that most human beings don't realize how significantly the world is set up to promte discrimination against women. The reason I think this, is because I have seen the world from both sides of the fence.
I have watched the value of my opinion become less as I am now seen as a woman. I have heard the words spoken in men's locker rooms and women's restrooms. I have found it necessary to examine the ways in which I participated, unknowingly, before I watched my status decrease in front of my very eyes.
I have become a feminist. Not the "I want to wear the pants" kind of feminist - if there is such a thing. The "I am not less valid today just because I live as a woman" kind of feminist.
My understanding of nearly everything has changed through my transition. My understanding of God is so totally related to my feminism. You see, I was one of those "guys" who frowned when a woman would say (about God), "or she or it", when she heard someone refer to God in the masculine.
It was simply true. The all powerful being just had to be male. In my studies of Social Work, this is called a "mechanism of oppression". Of course men are dominant. Of course men are more worthy. After all, God is a man too.
I simply can not believe in a God that is limited by gender anymore. I have come to understand that gender is a human construct, and a human limitation, neither of which are relevant to God.
Alas, I have become one of those women who say, "or she or it", when I hear someone refer to God in the masculine. And I occassionally see a man frown. How dare I question the natural order of male supremacy in the universe?
How dare I? How dare I? How dare I not?
It never crossed my mind as I entered into physical transition, that my views would become so changed. Many of my core beliefs have been cast aside and replaced with completely new ones. In no arena is that more true than in my understanding of how our world is set up to sustain male dominance.
From advertising to the Bible, and from birth, we are programmed to believe this is the natural order of things. It is the ultimate brainwash. It is no more true than the idea that the sun rises in the west.
Let me be clear. I don't think all men believe they are superior to women. I don't even think that a lot of men believe that. I think that most human beings don't realize how significantly the world is set up to promte discrimination against women. The reason I think this, is because I have seen the world from both sides of the fence.
I have watched the value of my opinion become less as I am now seen as a woman. I have heard the words spoken in men's locker rooms and women's restrooms. I have found it necessary to examine the ways in which I participated, unknowingly, before I watched my status decrease in front of my very eyes.
I have become a feminist. Not the "I want to wear the pants" kind of feminist - if there is such a thing. The "I am not less valid today just because I live as a woman" kind of feminist.
My understanding of nearly everything has changed through my transition. My understanding of God is so totally related to my feminism. You see, I was one of those "guys" who frowned when a woman would say (about God), "or she or it", when she heard someone refer to God in the masculine.
It was simply true. The all powerful being just had to be male. In my studies of Social Work, this is called a "mechanism of oppression". Of course men are dominant. Of course men are more worthy. After all, God is a man too.
I simply can not believe in a God that is limited by gender anymore. I have come to understand that gender is a human construct, and a human limitation, neither of which are relevant to God.
Alas, I have become one of those women who say, "or she or it", when I hear someone refer to God in the masculine. And I occassionally see a man frown. How dare I question the natural order of male supremacy in the universe?
How dare I? How dare I? How dare I not?
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Heaven, but . . .
What would you like to know about Heaven? Will the people who have gone before us be there? Will there be chocolate? Will we have a physical resemblance to our human selves? I suspect that a number of people are interested in knowing how to get there.
Jesus is very explicit about this in Matthew 25. Feed the hungry. Give drink to the thirsty. Welcome strangers. Clothe those without clothing. Care for the sick. Visit the imprisoned. In particular, the marginalized.
The similarities between the Pharisees of Jesus' day, and the religious leaders who persecute LGBT people today, are so striking that it truly leaves no room for argument. What we as Christians often fail to see, is that these people (the Pharisees and the persecutors) are perhaps the most marginalized of all of God's children, for they are truly separated from God.
So, what does it all mean?
My task is not to respond in kind. My task is to respond with kindness. Any attempt at forcing another human being to change their heart is vain, misguided, and egotistical. Hearts are changed when a person allows another to see God at work in them.
Matthew 5:16 says, "In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your {Creator} in Heaven." My task is not to tell them what to believe, but rather to allow them to see how what I believe is of the light.
How do we get to Heaven? Open the door for someone else.
What will it be like? More amazing than I can possibly imagine. From I Corinthians 13 - "Now I see but a poor reflection, then I shall see face to face." And I do think there might be chocolate.
Jesus is very explicit about this in Matthew 25. Feed the hungry. Give drink to the thirsty. Welcome strangers. Clothe those without clothing. Care for the sick. Visit the imprisoned. In particular, the marginalized.
The similarities between the Pharisees of Jesus' day, and the religious leaders who persecute LGBT people today, are so striking that it truly leaves no room for argument. What we as Christians often fail to see, is that these people (the Pharisees and the persecutors) are perhaps the most marginalized of all of God's children, for they are truly separated from God.
So, what does it all mean?
My task is not to respond in kind. My task is to respond with kindness. Any attempt at forcing another human being to change their heart is vain, misguided, and egotistical. Hearts are changed when a person allows another to see God at work in them.
Matthew 5:16 says, "In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your {Creator} in Heaven." My task is not to tell them what to believe, but rather to allow them to see how what I believe is of the light.
How do we get to Heaven? Open the door for someone else.
What will it be like? More amazing than I can possibly imagine. From I Corinthians 13 - "Now I see but a poor reflection, then I shall see face to face." And I do think there might be chocolate.
I Was Lost, But Now, Not So Much
Once upon a time, there was a little girl who was told that she wasn't really a little girl. No wonder I was lost. So this little girl had to pretend to be a boy, and she could never tell anyone that she was really a girl because God didn't like that.
Now, it is important to know that the people in her life truly did not understand that she was really a little girl, they loved her very much, and they were trying to do what they thought was right.
In the 1960s, there was little understanding about transgenderism. I spent hours and hours in the stairwell of our home, along which the Encyclopedia Britannica set was kept, searching for an explanation of what was wrong with me. No wonder I was lost? It's a wonder that any transgender children of the era were able to survive at all.
There are many situations where children grow up wondering what is wrong with them. Few are the ones that can bring out such a violent social reaction as not fitting in the boy/girl binary. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of the death of Roy Jones. He was 17 months old when his mother's live-in boyfriend decided his behavior was too effeminate, and proceeded to beat him to death. The man later told police that he was just trying to get him to act like a little boy.
Under what circumstances, would a transgender child believe that it is ok to be who they are? It's not 1960 anymore. Information about transgenderism is available at the click if a mouse. Yet many are still proclaiming that God doesn't like that. But many are dispelling the lie.
It is not difficult for me to identify the single most destructive factor in my being lost for so long. Those who preach the evil of LGBT are responsible for much pain, even death.
So now I know that God loves me, always loved me. Now I am blessed to be able to share that truth, in the hope that someone will see, someone will hear. Now I know that I am asked to pray for those who persecute me. I try. I was lost, but now, not so much.
Now, it is important to know that the people in her life truly did not understand that she was really a little girl, they loved her very much, and they were trying to do what they thought was right.
In the 1960s, there was little understanding about transgenderism. I spent hours and hours in the stairwell of our home, along which the Encyclopedia Britannica set was kept, searching for an explanation of what was wrong with me. No wonder I was lost? It's a wonder that any transgender children of the era were able to survive at all.
There are many situations where children grow up wondering what is wrong with them. Few are the ones that can bring out such a violent social reaction as not fitting in the boy/girl binary. We are coming up on the one year anniversary of the death of Roy Jones. He was 17 months old when his mother's live-in boyfriend decided his behavior was too effeminate, and proceeded to beat him to death. The man later told police that he was just trying to get him to act like a little boy.
Under what circumstances, would a transgender child believe that it is ok to be who they are? It's not 1960 anymore. Information about transgenderism is available at the click if a mouse. Yet many are still proclaiming that God doesn't like that. But many are dispelling the lie.
It is not difficult for me to identify the single most destructive factor in my being lost for so long. Those who preach the evil of LGBT are responsible for much pain, even death.
So now I know that God loves me, always loved me. Now I am blessed to be able to share that truth, in the hope that someone will see, someone will hear. Now I know that I am asked to pray for those who persecute me. I try. I was lost, but now, not so much.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Turning Four in the Backyard of Westboro Baptist Church
It is the fourth anniversary of my living 24/7 as a woman. I have now lived 7.5% of my life as me, and 92.5% of my life pretending to be someone, not me. At times, the one thing I most wish people could understand about transgender, is that I did not become a woman. I simply stopped pretending to be a man.
In my four years of life, I hope I've blazed a trail or two, but most of the steps I have taken, were on a road first traveled in these parts, by Jane Newman. Not only did she blaze the trail, she did it in the backyard of Westboro Baptist Church at a time when that was extraordinarily dangerous. Every transgender person in Kansas owes this woman, and her wife (Helen), a huge debt of gratitude.
When interim Pastor Patrick Rogers asked me to be the Metropolitan Community Church of Topeka Outreach Ministry coordinator in the Fall of 2007, I told him, "If in six months, Fred Phelps doesn't know my name, I'm not doing my job." I believe that the most powerful weapon we have in the battle for equality is visibility. To that end, I have tried to be as visible as possible. Doing this in the backyard of Westboro Baptist is part of the fun.
The widely held perception that WBC sets the standard for LGBT discrimination in Topeka could not be further from the truth. That dubious distinction likely belongs to Topeka Bible Church, the church attended by Topeka's Mayor - Bill Bunten. I personally witnessed an "educational" workshop on the evils of being gay. This workshop was attended by over 300 people.
Being openly transgender in the backyard of WBC is like jumping off the low diving board into a pool with a few plastic sharks. They are like the flies at a picnic. The have so little impact in Topeka that they take their show on the road. In Topeka, they are pretty much a non-event.
That said, being openly transgender in Topeka, Kansas (anywhere in Kansas) is like walking blindfolded from the ten-meter diving platform without knowing if there is water in the pool. The potential for violence is always there. Every time I publicly identify myself as a transsexual woman, I increase the likelihood I will meet with this violence.
So as I celebrate my 4th birthday, I also celebrate the knowledge that what these people might do to me is meaningless, when compared to having to live with the knowledge that I could have done something to change the way it is, but chose not to.
The 27th Psalm vs 1-2 says, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?"
In the first four years, I have spoken with, or in front of, easily a thousand people. Tens of thousands more have read about my journey in papers across the country, thanks to one article by Jan Biles of the Topeka Capital Journal (http://cjonline.com/news/local/2010-12-19/transgender_woman_finds_her_way), which was subsequently picked up by Associated Press and Transgender News.
In my third year, I was honored to be chosen to be a member of the Board of Directors at Metropolitan Community Church (http://www.mcctopeka.org/). Last August, some awesome people helped me found the Kansas Statewide Transgender Education Project (K-STEP - http://k-step.org/). Recently, I was equally honored to become vice-chair of Kansas Equality Coalition (http://kansasequalitycoalition.org/).
I am looking now toward the 5th year of my life. I hope it is even more busy than the 4th year. As for turning four in the backyard of Westboro Baptist Church, I am pretty sure Fred Phelps knows my name.
In my four years of life, I hope I've blazed a trail or two, but most of the steps I have taken, were on a road first traveled in these parts, by Jane Newman. Not only did she blaze the trail, she did it in the backyard of Westboro Baptist Church at a time when that was extraordinarily dangerous. Every transgender person in Kansas owes this woman, and her wife (Helen), a huge debt of gratitude.
When interim Pastor Patrick Rogers asked me to be the Metropolitan Community Church of Topeka Outreach Ministry coordinator in the Fall of 2007, I told him, "If in six months, Fred Phelps doesn't know my name, I'm not doing my job." I believe that the most powerful weapon we have in the battle for equality is visibility. To that end, I have tried to be as visible as possible. Doing this in the backyard of Westboro Baptist is part of the fun.
The widely held perception that WBC sets the standard for LGBT discrimination in Topeka could not be further from the truth. That dubious distinction likely belongs to Topeka Bible Church, the church attended by Topeka's Mayor - Bill Bunten. I personally witnessed an "educational" workshop on the evils of being gay. This workshop was attended by over 300 people.
Being openly transgender in the backyard of WBC is like jumping off the low diving board into a pool with a few plastic sharks. They are like the flies at a picnic. The have so little impact in Topeka that they take their show on the road. In Topeka, they are pretty much a non-event.
That said, being openly transgender in Topeka, Kansas (anywhere in Kansas) is like walking blindfolded from the ten-meter diving platform without knowing if there is water in the pool. The potential for violence is always there. Every time I publicly identify myself as a transsexual woman, I increase the likelihood I will meet with this violence.
So as I celebrate my 4th birthday, I also celebrate the knowledge that what these people might do to me is meaningless, when compared to having to live with the knowledge that I could have done something to change the way it is, but chose not to.
The 27th Psalm vs 1-2 says, "The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?"
In the first four years, I have spoken with, or in front of, easily a thousand people. Tens of thousands more have read about my journey in papers across the country, thanks to one article by Jan Biles of the Topeka Capital Journal (http://cjonline.com/news/local/2010-12-19/transgender_woman_finds_her_way), which was subsequently picked up by Associated Press and Transgender News.
In my third year, I was honored to be chosen to be a member of the Board of Directors at Metropolitan Community Church (http://www.mcctopeka.org/). Last August, some awesome people helped me found the Kansas Statewide Transgender Education Project (K-STEP - http://k-step.org/). Recently, I was equally honored to become vice-chair of Kansas Equality Coalition (http://kansasequalitycoalition.org/).
I am looking now toward the 5th year of my life. I hope it is even more busy than the 4th year. As for turning four in the backyard of Westboro Baptist Church, I am pretty sure Fred Phelps knows my name.
Saturday, July 9, 2011
I Do Not Like This Man Named Sam
I do not like this man named Sam
I do not like this man named Sam
I do not like it, sad I am
I do not like to hurt our schools
I do not like the way he rules
I do not like this man the Gov
I do not like his kind of love
I like, I do like KNI
For bottled water, tears they cry
I do not like to lose the arts
I do not like to lose our hearts
I do not like his power trip
I do not like his widening grip
I like, I do, the HRC
I like to see all people free
I do not like his hate of gays
I do not like his "Christian" ways
Do not take from those with less
Do not touch the SRS
Do keep your hands unto yourself
And place them not on women's health
I do not like this man, the king
Of do and don't and everything
I like, I do, that this is noted
I did not like it when I voted
I do not like this man named Sam
I do not like it, sad I am
© Stephanie Mott 2011
I do not like this man named Sam
I do not like it, sad I am
I do not like to hurt our schools
I do not like the way he rules
I do not like this man the Gov
I do not like his kind of love
I like, I do like KNI
For bottled water, tears they cry
I do not like to lose the arts
I do not like to lose our hearts
I do not like his power trip
I do not like his widening grip
I like, I do, the HRC
I like to see all people free
I do not like his hate of gays
I do not like his "Christian" ways
Do not take from those with less
Do not touch the SRS
Do keep your hands unto yourself
And place them not on women's health
I do not like this man, the king
Of do and don't and everything
I like, I do, that this is noted
I did not like it when I voted
I do not like this man named Sam
I do not like it, sad I am
© Stephanie Mott 2011
Friday, July 8, 2011
Frankenstein's Monster
I have been asked to speak at an abnormal psychology class about transgenderism. The significance of this is far greater than you might think. True it is, that normalcy is not on my bucket list. But abnormal? Not transgender people. If anything is abnormal here, it is the people who continue to espouse the idea that gender identity outside the boy/girl binary is a mental disorder.
Part of the problem lies in the assumption that biology trumps psychology. There is no reason to assume this, and quite frankly, we only do this in the arena of gender. In every other socially constructed and socially appropriate arena, we identify the person by what's on the inside.
Frankenstein is Dr. Kenneth Zucker. Zucker is famous for forcing gender-variant children into reparative therapy to conform to his expectations for male and female behavior in children. He considers transsexual women a "bad outcome" for gay men. Zucker is a darling of the "ex-gay" movement because of his work "curing" gender-variant children. (tsroadmap, 2011)
Zucker is Frankenstein. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM) is Frankenstein's Monster. Zucker continues to be a major barrier to removing transgender from the DSM. If Gender Identity Disorder is a psychological problem, why is the solution biological?
Another significant part of the issue is the blatant and purposeful failure to recognize the natural and normal diversity in human development both biologically and psychologically. The question often asked is, "Why are some people transgender?" The question should be, "Why wouldn't some people be transgender?"
Finally, it's the connotations that come with the word, "abnormal". No one called Michael Jordan abnormal. However, when someone doesn't fit in the girl/boy box, they are called deviant, abnormal, and sick. There is nothing wrong with people who are transgender. The abnormal psychology belongs to the people who think there is.
Part of the problem lies in the assumption that biology trumps psychology. There is no reason to assume this, and quite frankly, we only do this in the arena of gender. In every other socially constructed and socially appropriate arena, we identify the person by what's on the inside.
Frankenstein is Dr. Kenneth Zucker. Zucker is famous for forcing gender-variant children into reparative therapy to conform to his expectations for male and female behavior in children. He considers transsexual women a "bad outcome" for gay men. Zucker is a darling of the "ex-gay" movement because of his work "curing" gender-variant children. (tsroadmap, 2011)
Zucker is Frankenstein. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders (DSM) is Frankenstein's Monster. Zucker continues to be a major barrier to removing transgender from the DSM. If Gender Identity Disorder is a psychological problem, why is the solution biological?
Another significant part of the issue is the blatant and purposeful failure to recognize the natural and normal diversity in human development both biologically and psychologically. The question often asked is, "Why are some people transgender?" The question should be, "Why wouldn't some people be transgender?"
Finally, it's the connotations that come with the word, "abnormal". No one called Michael Jordan abnormal. However, when someone doesn't fit in the girl/boy box, they are called deviant, abnormal, and sick. There is nothing wrong with people who are transgender. The abnormal psychology belongs to the people who think there is.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Just What Kind of Tour?
Four hard hot days. Hoping that just one person would be helped. One set of eyes opened.
Amazing discoveries of self, life, people, and God.
The story behind the story is that among the wonderful Facebook posts of well wishes, were the horrifying posts about Sam Brownback's promotion of marriage, as he sees it.
The public denial of the humanity of Lesbian, Gay, Bi, and Transgender people as having the right to love, or the love to parent.
The things that have been done by Sam Brownback in the name of Christian values, are more comparable to Nazi death camps. The deliberate public proclamation that a group of human beings is not human, is a statement in the likeness of Adolph Hitler, not in the likeness of Jesus.
Yet I witnessed the eyes of Kansans as I spoke the word, transgender. Reactions of fear, empathy, anger, contemplation, and love. Mostly a recognition of human value.
Just what kind of tour was it?
I am changed. Exactly how is yet to be discovered. I can only pray that I am changed in the way God would have me change.
Amazing discoveries of self, life, people, and God.
The story behind the story is that among the wonderful Facebook posts of well wishes, were the horrifying posts about Sam Brownback's promotion of marriage, as he sees it.
The public denial of the humanity of Lesbian, Gay, Bi, and Transgender people as having the right to love, or the love to parent.
The things that have been done by Sam Brownback in the name of Christian values, are more comparable to Nazi death camps. The deliberate public proclamation that a group of human beings is not human, is a statement in the likeness of Adolph Hitler, not in the likeness of Jesus.
Yet I witnessed the eyes of Kansans as I spoke the word, transgender. Reactions of fear, empathy, anger, contemplation, and love. Mostly a recognition of human value.
Just what kind of tour was it?
I am changed. Exactly how is yet to be discovered. I can only pray that I am changed in the way God would have me change.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Transgender Freedom Tour
It's called the Kansas Fourth of July Weekend Trans-Tour. What it really is, is a transgender freedom tour.
The idea came out of a part of my brain that continuously searches for the next month's column for Liberty Press. When thiat idea ran into the realization that I had three days off, the notion of the tour was born. When the notion of the tour ran through the passion to make things better for transgender Kansans, there was no turning back.
And so, tomorrow morning I will set off with my friend, Chris, and we will drive 1500 miles, visit over 30 Kansas cities, and maybe make a difference.
The details of the tour are in place and can be found at www.k-step.org.
At 9:00 this morning, I will be talking with Maria Fisher of Kansas City's Associated Press office. At 6:00 this evening, I will be interviewed by Christopher Renner of Community Bridge, a radio show out of Manhattan.
We have yet to begin and people are reaching out, who have not known how to before this all started.
Previously unknown transgender friends have sent wishes for success from North Carolina, to Wisconsin, to Houston. I have no idea how things will unfold, but I am secure in the knowledge that we are making a difference.
It is indeed a freedom tour. Come along with us.
The idea came out of a part of my brain that continuously searches for the next month's column for Liberty Press. When thiat idea ran into the realization that I had three days off, the notion of the tour was born. When the notion of the tour ran through the passion to make things better for transgender Kansans, there was no turning back.
And so, tomorrow morning I will set off with my friend, Chris, and we will drive 1500 miles, visit over 30 Kansas cities, and maybe make a difference.
The details of the tour are in place and can be found at www.k-step.org.
At 9:00 this morning, I will be talking with Maria Fisher of Kansas City's Associated Press office. At 6:00 this evening, I will be interviewed by Christopher Renner of Community Bridge, a radio show out of Manhattan.
We have yet to begin and people are reaching out, who have not known how to before this all started.
Previously unknown transgender friends have sent wishes for success from North Carolina, to Wisconsin, to Houston. I have no idea how things will unfold, but I am secure in the knowledge that we are making a difference.
It is indeed a freedom tour. Come along with us.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
It's not Willy Wonka, but . . .
M&M/Mars announced today that it will be building a $250 million chocolate factory in Topeka, Ks.
What does the planned Mars chocolate factory mean to transgender Topekans and transgender Kansans?
At the very least, it means another place where a company sees the value of embracing diversity and acknowledges the human value of transgender people.
It means that somewhere in America, people who are transgender are already lovingly bringing M&M's into homes around the world. The children of Westboro Baptist Church have been joyfully devouring LGBT processed chocolate. There is a bit of a wry smile on my face just now.
What it really means, is that the day is coming closer when corporations will tell insurance companies that their employees should have coverage for all medically necessary procedures, including Gender Affirmation Surgery.
The Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index shows Mars Inc. with a rating of 73. They have anti-discrimination policy protections for sexual orientation and gender identity, insurance benefits for same sex partners, and some transition-related coverage for transgender employees - but not surgery - at least not yet.
Beginning next year, companies will need to provide insurance coverage for surgery in order to receive a perfect 100 on the HRC index. It is time for LGBTQA Americans to begin to make our purchasing decisions with consideration of this score.
338 major U.S. businesses scored the perfect 100. It is a sign of things to come. It's not Willy Wonka, but . . .
What does the planned Mars chocolate factory mean to transgender Topekans and transgender Kansans?
At the very least, it means another place where a company sees the value of embracing diversity and acknowledges the human value of transgender people.
It means that somewhere in America, people who are transgender are already lovingly bringing M&M's into homes around the world. The children of Westboro Baptist Church have been joyfully devouring LGBT processed chocolate. There is a bit of a wry smile on my face just now.
What it really means, is that the day is coming closer when corporations will tell insurance companies that their employees should have coverage for all medically necessary procedures, including Gender Affirmation Surgery.
The Human Rights Campaign Corporate Equality Index shows Mars Inc. with a rating of 73. They have anti-discrimination policy protections for sexual orientation and gender identity, insurance benefits for same sex partners, and some transition-related coverage for transgender employees - but not surgery - at least not yet.
Beginning next year, companies will need to provide insurance coverage for surgery in order to receive a perfect 100 on the HRC index. It is time for LGBTQA Americans to begin to make our purchasing decisions with consideration of this score.
338 major U.S. businesses scored the perfect 100. It is a sign of things to come. It's not Willy Wonka, but . . .
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
A Horse of a Different Color
Everything you need to know about life, you can learn from watching The Wizard of Oz.
Ruby slippers are awesome. The Wicked Witch of the West is no match for Glenda, the Good Witch of the North. And there's no place like home.
One other truism, is that Kansas really is in black and white. Except, of course, people who are transgender - We are a collective "horse of a different color".
It's hard for people to know what to do with us. We just don't fit the mold. They don't even know where we should go to the bathroom.
Now, if it is possible to colorize movies, we should be able to colorize Kansas. Just a good old-fashioned bit of reds and greens and yellows, correctly interspersed across the state, and voilà, Kansas would be magically transformed into Southwest Iowa.
However, Kansas is actually moving in the wrong direction (Brown-Backwards). Disenfranchised and marginalized Kansans have been stuffed into trash cans across the state.
I listened to Lt. Dan Choi speaking at the Wichita PRIDE rally on June 26th. He correctly defined Sam Brownback as a disease in Kansas. If this is true, the anti-Sam has to be a cocktail of change: Unity, Pride, Courage, Truth, and Love.
The unity is in becoming part of the movement. Kansas Equality Coalition has chapters across the state. Join. The pride part is to believe that you are created to be exactly who you are. The courage part is to stand up in the face of oppression. The truth part is that we are full, worthy human beings who can not afford to be comfortable with discrimination.
The love part is perhaps the hardest. Christianity has been hijacked. There is nothing Christian about Sam Brownback. There is nothing Christian about Westboro Baptist Church. There is nothing Christian about oppression of the LGBT community.
Christianity is about love for everyone. It is about allowing our differences to make us better. Pray for those who persecute us. Perhaps they need prayer more than anyone.
With unity and pride, with courage, with truth and love, we can make Kansas a state of a different color.
Ruby slippers are awesome. The Wicked Witch of the West is no match for Glenda, the Good Witch of the North. And there's no place like home.
One other truism, is that Kansas really is in black and white. Except, of course, people who are transgender - We are a collective "horse of a different color".
It's hard for people to know what to do with us. We just don't fit the mold. They don't even know where we should go to the bathroom.
Now, if it is possible to colorize movies, we should be able to colorize Kansas. Just a good old-fashioned bit of reds and greens and yellows, correctly interspersed across the state, and voilà, Kansas would be magically transformed into Southwest Iowa.
However, Kansas is actually moving in the wrong direction (Brown-Backwards). Disenfranchised and marginalized Kansans have been stuffed into trash cans across the state.
I listened to Lt. Dan Choi speaking at the Wichita PRIDE rally on June 26th. He correctly defined Sam Brownback as a disease in Kansas. If this is true, the anti-Sam has to be a cocktail of change: Unity, Pride, Courage, Truth, and Love.
The unity is in becoming part of the movement. Kansas Equality Coalition has chapters across the state. Join. The pride part is to believe that you are created to be exactly who you are. The courage part is to stand up in the face of oppression. The truth part is that we are full, worthy human beings who can not afford to be comfortable with discrimination.
The love part is perhaps the hardest. Christianity has been hijacked. There is nothing Christian about Sam Brownback. There is nothing Christian about Westboro Baptist Church. There is nothing Christian about oppression of the LGBT community.
Christianity is about love for everyone. It is about allowing our differences to make us better. Pray for those who persecute us. Perhaps they need prayer more than anyone.
With unity and pride, with courage, with truth and love, we can make Kansas a state of a different color.
Monday, June 27, 2011
Welcome to Trans-Christian by Stephanie Mott
Well, I guess it's time for me to have my own blog. As is typical for me, I have no idea what I'm doing.
What I do know, is that God loves me, and that God loves you, and that God loves everyone.
Being the "me" I was created to be is the one thing I found first necessary to becoming the person God wants me to be. Only then, was I able to begin to receive the gifts of life. Only then, am I able to truly share God's love.
What I do know, is that God loves me, and that God loves you, and that God loves everyone.
Being the "me" I was created to be is the one thing I found first necessary to becoming the person God wants me to be. Only then, was I able to begin to receive the gifts of life. Only then, am I able to truly share God's love.
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